The ax is going around

It’s big, shiny and out for blood. And a little humiliation too. As in scram, you’ve been dumped. You’ve got 2 hours to pack all your shit up and hit the road. See ya.

Lay-offs are rumored to be happening where I work and the waiting is no fun. It’s all out of our control but of course we sit around and stress over who’s gonna get it. Or not. Plenty of my friends have already been laid off or just can’t find work, so at least I’ll be in good company. It won’t be as embarassing to ask “paper or plastic” as it would have been a year ago. Oh wait, even the crappy jobs aren’t hiring so the bottom you could always sorta depend on, as in “Oh I can always pimp coffee at Starbucks if I have to” is now just a nonexistent bad job dream.

But do it already would ya? If you’re breaking up with me, please get it over with. Cause the torture of not knowing is making us all a little more insane than usual. And lots of hours are being wasted in the meantime talking about who it might be. Could be the guy that takes all the time off, or the new girl that no one really likes? You don’t want it to be anyone, so maybe we just take huge pay cuts and all stay? It’s a hideous bargain, that none of us want to happen, but we need it to. So we can get back to our comfortable everyday level of anxiety and chaos.