Must have been a bad Xanax

Don’t blame this little guy for what happened a few days ago in Connecticut. He’s just a sweet little sock monkey. My sister and I each had one as kids, and we both still love them. She even gave me the cutest monkey slippers for Xmas. Hey, slippers aren’t only for old ladies anymore.

Real monkeys scare me a little. I mean I get the attraction and all. Sort of. But not sure I’d really want to live with a chimp like he was my child. Well…unless they can cook or clean a little.

But imagine dating, and having to explain the big furry roommate.

Dealbreaker # 273 No big furry roommates that might attack me and mutilate my face.

Ever notice how the wild animal as house pet story never ends well? Kind of a freak show, ripe for disaster. That wild animal pet will probably attack someone, and there’s just no apology big enough for this kind of bizarre tragedy.