Lunch with some skinny bitches

Group lunch at a Japanese market makes my Asian bosses positively giddy. But wait, there’s no pizza, salad or sandwiches. uh-oh. Instead of real food we all get bowls of soupy noodles with two skinny sticks and a big spoon, oh please. I work hard to get some of it in my mouth with the over-sized plastic spoon, ya know the kind kids use for cough syrup. It was exhausting chasing the food around while trying not to splash soup all over myself. Afterwards I’m still hungry and I only feel taunted. Emergency pb&j would sure come in handy about now.

Moral of this story: There’s a reason that forks resemble cute little shovels. Chopsticks? Just another food prank thought up by a cranky anorexic.

Red velvet cake, turkey burgers and grilled cheese, never gonna happen. Must be why they’re all so tiny. Eating with only sticks, you’ll never get fat. The Chopstick Diet, could be the next big thing.