Now that’s just greedy

Or is it? Wanting more, when I already have so much. Where’s the line between satisfied and piggish? How much is too much? All important questions for me.

I pay attention daily to all that I have and realize I’m blessed. I’ve gotten lucky. Things have worked out swell. I moved here alone, with no real career idea or plan, just “I like ads, ads are cool.” Got hired as an assistant at a great ad agency and dated a crazy good writer who suggested I try it. Writing it turns out, connected all the dots for me. Thank you G.H.

Now I live near the beach in a city I mostly like, have a cute new nephew in Austin to knit for, plus amazing friends and a job writing that I like. I’m guessing there are plenty of people who might want my life. And I see that, I’ve got it made in many ways. I don’t have much to complain about. Some days my biggest problem is that my bangs need a trim. Ok, I have nothing to complain about.

So I struggle with wanting more, asking for more. Because don’t I already have so much? Is it greedy to have all that I do, feel happy, yet want just one more thing?

That missing thing, and it’s a biggie, of course is love. A huge love. Not just an okay we’re in love love, I’ve tried that kind. One dumb marriage and several boyfriends later I know it’s not enough for me. I’m talking a deep and amazing, emotionally healthy, passionately connected kind of love. A true partner to share my life. To have a home with, a dog in the yard, maybe two. Totally corny but really, it’s the only piece missing. Everything else feels like it happened just the way it was supposed to.